GK's wit

Chesterton's humorous responses to various questions:

• “Would you prefer to be thin?”
“No. My weight gives us a subject with which to start these questions and answer sessions.”

• “What are your thoughts on Hell?”
“I regard it as a thing to be avoided.”

• “What do you think of the German language?”
“I regard it with a profound agnosticism.”

• “If you were stranded on a desert island with only one book, what book would you want it to be?”
“Thomas’ Guide to Practical Shipbuilding."

• “Could you speak louder please?”
“Good sister, don’t worry. You aren’t missing a thing!”

• “What do you think will happen in the next great revolution: the revolt of Nature against Man?”
“I hope Man will not hesitate to shoot.”

• “Do you believe in the comradeship between the sexes?”
“Madam, if I were to treat you for two minutes like a comrade, you would turn me out of the house.”

• “You seem to know everything.”
“I know nothing, Madam. I am a journalist.”

• “In the event of your having to change your original position, what tactic do you adopt?”
“On such occasions, I invariably commit suicide.”

~Quotes taken from Common Sense 101: Lessons From G.K. Chesterton, by Dale Ahlquist.